I’ve just returned from a last minute holiday break in Lanzarote and I think I’m more worn out now than I was before I left. The reason for my malaise is the hotel we were staying in.
Now I understand that last minute bargains are often bargains for a reason. But I’ve enjoyed many short and long stay last minute holidays and this is the first time that I’ve had cause for complaint. So here is my list of grumbles that I’m sending to the holiday company.
- Noisy Room. Our hotel room was directly above the hotel bar which continued to serve drinks most of nearly every night. The raucous laughter, shouting and occasional arguments were the main cause of the bags under my eyes.
- Smelly bathroom. There was something seriously wrong with the drains. The smell was appalling and nothing we did made it any better. The toilet bowl was cracked and the whole bathroom suite was in need of replacement.
- Bad Bathroom Design. The compact en-suite bathroom was so miniscule that, once inside, it was impossible to close the door.
- Paper thin walls. The partitions between rooms were so thin that we could hear our neighbours even when they were talking at normal level. It all became very x-rated when they became amorous.
- Couldn’t-care-less staff and manager. The attitude of the staff and especially the manager, was surly and bad tempered. Probably because they always had hangovers after staying up late drinking in their bar.
- Food was inedible. On two mornings there was no breakfast and on the mornings when breakfast was served it was near inedible. The chef was another one of the late-night drinking gang.
- Security was appalling. The lock on our room door was faulty making it easy to simply push the door open. The manager was so untrustworthy that we didn’t dare leave our valuables in his care.
All in all this was the worst holiday myself and my partner have ever had. I just wish I could tell you who the holiday company were and the name of the hotel. But I’ve been advised that, since I am trying to get our money back, I should keep this information to myself, for the time being.
But let this be a warning to anyone taking a last minute bargain. Do your homework and try to ensure that you don’t have the miserable experience that we’ve just had.

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